I Want Your Body
by pompomwoop
Summary: In which Orochimaru gets Itachi's body but not without consequences... Crack. Mpreg. ItaOro. Yaoi. Akatsuki. Oneshot.


**A/N:** This is a crack spin off about how Orochimaru always says he wants so-and-so's body containing mpreg and Akatsuki nonsense. The title should tell you everything you need to know.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto.

* * *

I Want Your Body

* * *

The phrase, "I want your body," was something Itachi was all too familiar with, even if it conjured nightmares just thinking about reliving it. Initially, it had been purely sexual, outlining – rather uncharacteristically and bluntly at that, considering the man's cryptic nature, to which he had always regarded the Sannin coolly – just exactly what Orochimaru wanted from him, which had been sex after a particularly boring mission Pain felt they should take for the high pay, completely disregarding that it entailed a full shinobi escort around the world.

To make things worse, the target escort rubbed Orochimaru the wrong way. It was as if everything he did – the unflattering clothes he chose, the uncultured manner in which he walked, the blunt way he spoke – were seen through black-tinted glasses, leaving Orochimaru in a foul, frustrated mood.

In the end, Itachi had given Orochimaru what he had wanted, which was his body. Hot and heavy; raw and primal – from the wooden surface of the door creaking with each and every sensual thrust, to the dark silken sheets crumpling beneath their combined weight, its twisting and turning mirroring the passionate abandon of the two S-rank Akatsuki criminals. Unfortunately, the same could not be said in the latter's case, for while he did get Itachi's body, he got so much more than he bargained for.

Deep down, Orochimaru had suspected long before it – the nightmare – was confirmed.

He was first and foremost a scientist after all – the one with the answers, the 'know-how'. Having been – and still was – considered a once in a lifetime genius, it could have been said that he immediately knew from the first time he vomited two weeks later after the 'incident', thus confirming his hypothesis.

In actuality, he referred to it as his punishment for wanting to be perfect, attaining immortality and thus going beyond normalcy, but Pain, who considered himself a god, dismissed the callousness of his wording, instead congratulating him for soaring for the skies. His reasoning had been that at least Orochimaru's ambition showed not all of Akatsuki were psychopathic, brainless and homicidal. Hidan had resented that, remarking that Pain should go, "Fuck off and die," followed by, "Jashin says you're next!" in which he inadvertently proved the common misconception to be true in his case.

Sadly, all of his years of work, the late nights of shunning the world at the expense of his research in his lab, proved fruitless – a waste of his time, his mind and, well...everything.

"You're pregnant," Konan said solemnly, giving her prognosis to the mother – or was it still father? – to be.

Orochimaru didn't hear it – well, he did, but that was beyond the point – for he didn't really care in that aspect, or what Konan said next by pointing out that through years of experimentation, switching through bodies of either gender, he had become, well...a mixture of both. All he just wanted to know was how he could get out of the sticky situation.

Konan licked her lips, dreading the answer, but deeming the question necessary. "Who's the father?"

At that moment, Itachi decided to enter the room, striding in as all Uchihan grace, elegance and superiority, to say that he was the father. He immediately wished he hadn't, though, for as soon as the words, "I sired the child," escaped his mouth, Orochimaru made his move. Snakes, hissing and spitting deadly venom, shot out of Orochimaru's sleeves, cutting through the air like blades towards the father of his child.

The situation was made even worse, degenerating into a full-scale war, when Itachi calmly activated his Sharingan and confounded Orochimaru's _Sen'ei Tajashu_ as if it was effortlessly easy. The snakes reached a metre from his face before something stopped them in their tracks, leaving them hissing uselessly and suspended in the air.

Orochimaru wasn't really sure what hurled him off the precarious edge. Perhaps, it had been the lovely Sharingan flaunted before his very eyes, or maybe the way everyone dismissed his straightforward attack to congratulate the heir of the Uchiha Clan over the wonderful news. It didn't really matter. All that mattered was that he activated his _Yamata no Jutsu_ in Pain's office.

"Congratulations, Itachi-san!" Kisame roared as he lifted Samehada jovially, uncaring that it smacked Tobi – who had been dancing in circles in excitement – silly and drained his chakra, leaving the masked man unconscious on the ground. "The Uchiha Clan will live again!"

"You're not going to kill this one, right?" Zetsu appeared out of nowhere, emerging from the ground. "Good, because then I'll eat it. I'm starving."

Hidan was impressed that Itachi was not shooting blanks and was rude about it, the latter being nothing new. "Fucking great, you're going to be a daddy, Itachi. Well I'll be damned, you motherfucker!"

"Great," Deidara muttered scathingly, sneering at the man who bested him, "the last thing the world needs – more goddamn Uchihas, yeah."

Whatever comment Sasori was going to say – likely that the child would not live forever, therefore it would be obsolete – never reached the ears of the Akatsuki members. Instead, something else filled the room, and them, with a foreboding sense of dread.

The collective dread turned into outright horror when Pain's office exploded, the walls tearing as they were unable to contain the enormity of Orochimaru's jutsu that seemed to be growing with each passing second. Tobi, who had finally regained consciousness after being drained of chakra, glimpsed eight white scaly tails with spitting heads, a pair of glowing yellow eyes inches from his face, and baring, protruding fangs before passing out with a squeak.

Hoarse screams filled the air. Itachi didn't know where it was predominantly coming from as he stood rooted to the spot, rendered speechless as the repercussions of giving his body culminated in front of his eyes. If not for Pain barking out orders, yelling at everyone to take their position to flank Orochimaru, he would have stood there like a fool forever, torn between marvel and terror at the impressive eight-headed hydra.

Kisame made the mistake of leaping into the air to slice one of the heads off using Samehada. Hissing, the head spitting venom even as it was severed, it all but crashed into the ground, causing a shaky tremor in its heavy wake. The mistake therein became obvious when a distinct noxious fume plagued the air, settling over the Akatsuki members as a toxic, pungent cloud.

All bravado and insanity, Hidan rushed forward to stab the white monstrosity, executing a shallow cut. The white bristling scales prevented his scythe from inflicting actual surface damage, but it was enough for him to get blood and deal some damage – or so he thought. As he quickly performed his ritual, his skin turning black, and stabbed himself with sadistic glee, he soon discovered how pointless his actions were. A large gash appeared on the hydra, mimicking the damage caused by the scythe, only to disappear within seconds.

The hydra was regenerating.

Not just slowly too, as though mending itself, but an alarming rate, one that spurred Itachi into action. It was clear that the hydra was not a normal summon of Orochimaru's, which begged the question as to the exact location of the mother – father – of his child.

At that precise moment, following his train of thoughts, Orochimaru decided to appear – rather dramatically at that, seemingly regurgitating from the topmost deadly snake head. With a strangled splutter, he coughed up Kusanagi, brandished it threateningly, and then carried out said threats.

Unsurprisingly, Itachi was the first target. _Susanoo_ warped into existence to protect him as well as the other Akatsuki members from the striking heads, however its protective barriers proved inadequate for the poison tainting the air. The poison was deadly, that much was certain, evident when Zetsu – who was, by all rights, a plant which inherently carried immunities to most toxic forms – clutched his throat. The white side of him was tearing up while the dark side was growling, even as he choked.

"Itachi, this is all your fault!" the black half snarled.

The white half simply cried, a single crystalline tear streaking down Zetsu's face.

It was pathetic as it was heart-wrenching. True to the very nature of his anatomy, Zetsu became one with the earth, disappearing from the chaos. Tobi, once again managing to wake up – exactly how he had not died yet from shock was a complete and utter mystery – begged Zetsu to take him with him, to not leave him at Orochimaru's nonexistent mercy, and promptly fainted when the Akatsuki spy sank into the ground.

Zetsu's incriminating words seemed to have a domino effect; out of nowhere, Hidan, still in his sacrificial state, whipped around to hurl filthy curses at Itachi. 'Fuck' was popular in the array of profanity, primarily used as an adjective in describing what he was and what he had done by "knocking up" Orochimaru.

To Itachi's dismay, Deidara jumped on board the bandwagon, although it could have been argued he had been on it for a long time already given their history. Itachi was forced to endure the combined swearing of Hidan and Deidara. Had the situation not been so crucial, he would have ignored them – or even possibly put them in their place. As it were, the situation was dire.

Nothing was working.

He was unable to seal Orochimaru as he could have, simply because the Sannin was the mother of his child. Kisame's formidable water jutsu was proving fruitless against the hydra – it was just that big! – while Tobi was out cold, and of course Deidara and Hidan were cursing at everything and everyone. Sure enough, they switched their anger to vent at Sasori, the puppeteer having barricaded himself within Hiruko – insulting him one second, begging him to let them inside the next. Zetsu had scarpered while Pain had ditched them, announcing that it was a test set by god which obviously meant himself.

Itachi angled his head in search for the others. Konan was flying, her elevated height enabled by her origami jutsu, appearing angelic in the face of Orochimaru's wrath. She was hovering, merely watching them with heavily lidded orange eyes as though the monstrosity below was an everyday occurrence. Kakuzu, greedy man he was, had taken to searching through the rubble of Pain's office for money and whatever goodies he could get his grubby hands on. Every now and then he would twist around, dodging the hydra, but otherwise did nothing helpful in his greed quest.

The madness was unsettling, unbecoming of Akatsuki. Itachi was sorely tempted to let them all perish but swiftly decided otherwise. He needed to induce Orochimaru into a state of unconsciousness since he couldn't kill him – the man would just regenerate a severed limb and gloat about it – especially with the baby and to do that he needed...

"Deidara, I need you to fly me up there," Itachi ordered the artist curtly, pointing at Orochimaru's naked form, somehow managing to speak calmly in spite of the pandemonium.

Deidara was beside himself. "Over my dead body, asshole!"

"Yeah, go fuck yourself, Itachi!"

He pretty much had when he had 'given' his body to Orochimaru, but Itachi, the proud man he was, did not admit such a thing. Ignoring Hidan's remark, he looked Deidara in the eye, Sharingan burning as he did so, and sharply demanded, "Do it."

For a moment, Deidara looked like he was on verge of becoming his art by exploding. Angry scarlet splotches coloured his cheeks, becoming redder with each passing second as he glared at his nemesis. It was not only matter of life and death but pride, and he was full of it, bursting with it. That pride nearly had its way. Fortunately, Orochimaru made the decision for him by extending Kusanagi, threatening to slice them all to pieces as he swung his sword in a sweeping motion.

So maddened by the pregnancy and the idiots he willingly surrounded himself with, Orochimaru was blinded by it, by rage. He followed the white clay bird shooting through the air at breakneck speed with his eyes, seething when it twisted fluidly and outmanoeuvred his snakes. As it neared him, honing in closer as a white annoying speck, he readied Kusanagi.

The extended blade sliced cleanly through the clay creation. Deidara and Hidan were screaming for all they were worth, flapping their arms uselessly in the air as they plummeted towards the ground, however Orochimaru ignored them. He only had eyes for one man who was the root of all evil. Their eyes met, swirling red clashing with vibrant gold, and then, suddenly, Orochimaru was falling too as _Tsukuyomi _swallowed him whole, the hydra receding as he crashed through the air into the arms of the very person who had "knocked" him up.

* * *

Pain's office did not survive the madness that took place the day before. Unfortunately for Orochimaru, Itachi did. His failure to make his malicious thoughts a painful, bloodied reality was staring at him in the face when he awoke the next day.

Orochimaru would have murdered him in cold blood right then and there, when Itachi breezed into the room as if nothing was amiss, if not for Kakuzu's vice-like restraints banding his wrists together. The thick, black chakra thread curled around his wrists like manacles, pushing the smooth sides of his hands together. It was quite effective, preventing him from forming hand seals and in that sense, it was infuriating.

"Good morning."

There was no response – Itachi didn't expect there to be any.

"I made you some boiled eggs."

Silenced greeted him, even as he lowered the thoughtfully cooked favourite food to the bed.

"They are just the way you like them – soft, but not runny; warm, not cold."

Itachi moved to sit on the bed to be perched on the edge. After what seemed like an eternity, the strained silence was broken.

"I'm going to kill you."

The words, spoken so softly that it was deadly, so different to the silken voice Itachi was used to, portended death.

Over the next few months, Itachi was subjected to the creative ways in which Orochimaru tried to carry his promise out. 'Tried' was the operative word in light of Itachi's exceptional shinobi skills, quick thinking and cool, unbreakable mask devoid of any type of emotion including fear to the Kusanagi replicas piercing through the air only to land in the spot where his head had been moments before.

If Itachi wasn't fending off an onslaught of slithering snakes, using a variety of different ways that would have sorely tested regular shinobi for all they were worth, he was then looking after his significant other, taking on the role of a caretaker by cooking, cleaning and generally being a – in his own opinion – good and upcoming father. He was careful not to say the words that would make the situation seem horridly real; the very word 'pregnant' was taboo in new Akatsuki compound due to the cataclysmic destruction of the previous one.

Kakuzu had thrown a fit, claiming Orochimaru pay for the expenses regarding the construction of the new compound. Unfortunately, despite his role as Akatsuki's treasurer giving him entitlement, he never received compensation. On the contrary, Orochimaru never left his room and Kakuzu never ventured past the hallway to open the door leading to said room. The bedroom itself was dark, shuttered. All traces of light were barred in some way, and on the odd occasion that sunlight streaked inside, bathing it with luminous warmth, it was immediately swallowed.

Itachi would always notice this, opening the door to the room to step over the threshold to say, "It's very dark in here, Hebi-chan."

He would always say the same thing, commenting on the detrimental lack of light in the room as though hinting to open the blinds, coupled with the offensive nickname. The nickname itself was affectionate, speaking volumes of how much someone stoic like Itachi felt in regards, but Orochimaru found it offensive all the same.

And so every time Itachi said the same thing, Orochimaru would always intensify the heat of his glare. After about seventy times of trying to murder him by shooting Kusanagi out of his mouth – his hands were still bound and there was a gaping hole in the wall now – he had given up, instead channelling his hatred through his eyes. It also proved to be rather ineffective, simply because Itachi was incredibly and frighteningly emotionally detached.

Not that he cared. Orochimaru did not care. He told himself this over and over, pointedly ignoring Itachi's helpful hand holding his hair back whenever he vomited in the toilet; wishing the fingers that fed him daily would snap, break, or something nasty along the lines.

* * *

Orochimaru was being particularly difficult today. It must have been due to the mood swings pregnant women often experienced much like his own mother had displayed. Itachi noticed this the moment he woke up from his uncomfortable makeshift bed on the ground – Orochimaru had indefinitely banned him from the bed, saying he now hated his body – when the other man threw a pillow at his face.

The pillow was soft, fluffy – in contrast to his rather lumpy one. It was thrown rather harshly nonetheless, sailing through the air to collide with his face, the killing intent behind it obvious.

In response, Itachi braced himself, readying his body for the next attack that was to come.

What he did not expect was Orochimaru bursting into tears.

Immediately, Itachi was at his side, cutting through the restraints using the special weapon Kakuzu had given him as he shushed Orochimaru. The black string was cut, and only then, feeling Orochimaru's weight pressing him down to the bed, deceptively slender fingers curling around his neck, did Itachi realise just how he had been fooled.

"You're fast," Itachi couldn't help but murmur, peering upwards through dark curtains of silk to stare at the man in question.

Orochimaru's mouth widened into a predatory shark's smile for what seemed to be the first time in years. It felt like he was his own self again, his tarnished ego now polished at how he was able to apprehend Itachi in spite of his disadvantaged condition. To have Itachi's life in the palm of his hands, crushed by his weight and the added one of the baby they created together...

It was too much.

The fake tears on his cheeks became real and then Itachi was shushing him once again, fussing over him as he brought them down to the bed. They stayed nestled together like that for a long, long time, utterly and completely dead to the world even when Deidara let off an explosion in the next room to which Hidan swore up a storm, claiming Jashin told him they were all next on his black list.

The earthquake shaking the compound fell on their deaf ears as Itachi's hands combed Orochimaru's hair, lowering to trail down a pale neck until he felt something round – something lightly and faintly kicking at his touch.

* * *

"Nearly got it! Come on..."

Momentarily stunned at what he saw, Itachi set the tray down near the bedside table before walking towards Orochimaru. The man had taken everything since that emotional day in a nonchalant stride almost as though he had not fallen pregnant, that he was not very much so, along about six months, and that he was still at the liberty to what he pleased – including standing on his tiptoes to reach for the box at the top of the bookshelf.

The bright purple slippers didn't do him any favours, nor did the elaborate flowing snake-patterned robe. When Itachi first scrunitised his choice of maternity clothes, Orochimaru had insisted he wear whatever he pleased. They had argued about it for a bit before Orochimaru had finally burst into tears, accusing Itachi of being antagonistic due to his gained weight and corpulent appearance before threatening to kill him in a gruesome manner by unsheathing Kusanagi.

Really, Itachi had just wanted the best for his lover, and had thus spent the next hour insisting Orochimaru was not "a fat slug that wants to be a snake" despite not quite knowing what it actually meant.

Frowning, Itachi jumped up and swiped the small box with one hand while he used the other to lead the other man to the bed.

"You should not over exert yourself," Itachi scolded disapprovingly, pointing at the large baby bump. "It's not good for you nor the baby."

At the helpful point of his fingers, he barely refrained from rolling his eyes when Orochimaru's gaze sharpened. He knew what was coming and mentally braced himself for what was to come.

Three, two, one...

"Oh, so suddenly I'm treated like an invalid just because I'm pregnant! Well you know you what, Uchiha Itachi? I never asked for this," a finger was directed at the baby in question, black eyes following the movement before flicking upwards to meet a golden, emotional gaze, "and I will have you know that I won't bend to your will just because you just so happen to be the father!"

At that part of the tirade, Itachi pointed out, "You kept saying that you wanted my body."

"Who the fuck would want your body," Deidara threw out sharply as he waltzed in room like he owned the place, sneering all the while at Itachi as he did so. He went to the effort of making sure the container he was carrying 'accidentally' hit Itachi's elbow as he passed by. It was completely and utterly unnecessary but for Deidara, it was damn worth it – especially if Itachi's grunt of pain was any indication.

After rubbing his elbow, it suddenly dawned on Itachi that Deidara out of all people was here – carrying a suspicious box no less. "Why are you here?" he asked, frowning once more.

"None of your business," was Deidara's scathing reply as he dropped the box to the bed.

If anything, the dismissive response made Itachi more suspicious, the frown furrowing at brow deepening. He didn't say anything, merely crossed his arms, planted his back against the painted blue walls of the nursery as an immovable object, and watched Deidara unpack the contents of the mysterious box.

Scrolls, each with different markings and in varying sizes filled the box to the brim, promising a world of knowledge. There were so many, the sheer amount filling the nursery such that it smelled strongly of old parchment by the time he was done. Only he wasn't done. Deidara exited the nursery quickly, returning so fast Itachi wondered just how many boxes were left outside.

His suspicions were correct when he turned his head, spotting at least two dozen boxes stacked outside near the door. When Deidara repeated the tedious process, Itachi stopped him by the arm, Sharingan blazing in his eyes as he wondered what the hell was going on.

Orochimaru decided to enlighten him.

"This is all of the jutsu I've acquired over the years," he explained with a smirk, roaming his eyes over the scrolls with something akin to triumph as he absently patted his stomach. "I'm going to teach our child everything there is to know."

The mental image of Orochimaru cradling their child lovingly, whispering words of power as he gestured to the mountain of scrolls in the hope to instill his vast amounts of knowledge, was truly terrifying. Suddenly, the vivid image changed, melting into something even worse. Before his very eyes, he saw his son at a tender age – judging by his short, youthful stature – summoning an army of snakes while Sharingan blazed in his eyes.

Itachi was horrified.

* * *

The beauty that was otherwise known as labour was anything but beautiful. Hidan would know, seeing as how he was incapacitated, yelling off the top of his lungs, and trapped in the delivery room.

In reality, there was no actual delivery room – Akatsuki was a criminal organisation, not a hospital – so Pain had merely picked one of the members' rooms to deliver the baby. Although he claimed his decision had been purely at random, not taking into account who was the 'worst' one out of them all, Pain had immediately pointed at Hidan so quick it was undeniably suspicious. No one really cared, though – so excited they were to see what Zetsu and Kisame had dubbed as Itachi and Orochimaru's "little monster" and "spawn" respectively that their care, which was next to nothing to begin with, was unbelievably low.

Naturally, Hidan had refused to go down, hell-bent on vociferously not sacrificing his room for the sake of Itachi and Orochimaru's child, and so he stayed in the room. It was a choice, his own choice – one that was irrevocable as though sealing his fate. The moment the door was shut, locked and triple bolted with chakra seals, Hidan wished he had gotten out while he had the chance to. To make things worse, Orochimaru had opted to unleash his fury by shooting Kusanagi from his mouth, thereby decapitating Hidan's head from his body.

Hidan's head was chopped off such that it landed sidewards on one of the metal tables, giving him a clear view of what exactly labour and the miracle of childbirth entailed.

He was less than impressed.

_"What the fuck! Kakuzu, turn my head around, you bastard! I don't wanna see!"_

Kakuzu, who was busy restraining Orochimaru with his black thread, paid him no attention. This certainly said something about how Orochimaru was thrashing about, as Hidan's profanity normally set off the ticking time bomb in his partner's head. The same went for Konan – the only other person allowed inside, simply because she was a woman and Kakuzu was too cheap to pay for an actual doctor. Labour had started so suddenly that no one had the time to get one, and considering Akatsuki's notoriety, the doctor would have refused to come anyway.

_"Sweet Jashin, my eyes! They're bleeding!"_

Itachi could only imagine what was going on inside as he waited with impatience and anxiety he had never before experienced. He imagined what Orochimaru looked like, an image forming in his head before he could stop it, and shuddered almost violently. The man, although beautiful and intelligent and all of those other good things people would call him crazy to say, was also dangerous. His formidable tempter, coupled with the extreme stress of pregnancy and the volatility that came with it, made for a deadly combination.

_"Someone get me out of here! Fuck!"_

_"Konan-san, where is Itachi-kun?_

_"Why do you want him, Orochimaru-san?"_

_"Because I want to kill him for putting me through this!"_

Orochimaru's hoarse voice echoed from the delivery room, the sound jolting Itachi already electrified nerves. His palms were sweaty, dampening his pants every time he gripped them in an act to calm his nerves. Itachi winced when another scream came from the room – this time, all pretense and sweet, manipulative politeness absent from Orochimaru's voice, showing his true colours.

_"Konan, you feculent maggot! I should have slit your throat years ago when I had the chance!"_

_"Fucking kill me instead! I can't take it anymore!"_

Kisame arched a thin eyebrow at that. "Did Orochimaru know Konan before Akatsuki?"_  
_

"Yes," Pain answered politely, rather conversationally, as though Orochimaru in labour was hardly of consequence. "Konan and I actually met him years ago. He kindly offered to kill us."

Deidara, who had been flicking through one of Hidan's book about Jashin, snorted. "Wow, that's hardcore, yeah."

"Not as bad as making us wait," Sasori cut in with a sigh, snatching the book from Deidara's hand. The book, bloodied and treated roughly over the years by Hidan's cruel hands, was thrown to the ground. "I really hate waiting."

"Me too."

Once again, Zetsu appeared out of nowhere – Deidara even shrieked, the screech drowning the madness from the delivery room.

"Sorry, Deidara," Zetsu apologised in a tone that was anything but apologetic.

Before Deidara could take offense, the door that concealed the horror of labour swung open. Out came Konan who wore a small smile, shortly followed by Kakuzu who was covered head to toe in blood, the sinister quality of his appearance heightened by Hidan's head held in one hand with a headless body in the other. If he had anything to say about the state of his attire, or sentiments towards labour, he kept it to himself and simply grunted as he walked past the awaiting Akatsuki members.

Itachi was the first one inside the room, his heart hammering furiously in his chest as he eyed the dead, deflated body on the bed. Although he had seen Orochimaru's body shedding technique numerous times, the sight of the stretched corpse it left behind was still disturbing. Still, it meant that Orochimaru was able to replace his current body – one that was free of physical injury.

Something inside his chest exploded with joy – a feeling that would have surely put Deidara's art to shame – as he spotted Orochimaru near the window. Sunlight poured through the window magnificently, bathing him and the bundle of joy cradled in his arms. Itachi could not see the child from a distance but he didn't have to, for he could hear the soft sounds followed by Orochimaru's quiet murmurs.

* * *

"Cough up, morons."

There was a collective grumble as nearly everyone deposited thick wads of money into Kakuzu's shiny, oh-so deep rattling container. It was rattling because he was shaking it greedily, thoroughly enjoying the dejected air in the room.

Months ago, Orochimaru had made a grand announcement the first time he stepped out of his bedroom, arrogantly remarking that his genes were superior to that of Itachi's through the tampering of genetics after years of experimentation. Therefore, as a result, his genes would be dominant and reflected in the child – slitted amber eyes, purple markings which were hereditary to his family and a narrow sort of sharp, prominent face.

Orochimaru's eloquence alone had swayed the opinion of his fellow Akatsuki members; after all, flamboyant gestures and verbose explanations of complex theories seemed more impressive than Itachi's silence – he wasn't much of a talker – as he stood next to the mother of his child.

As a newborn, it was difficult to say if the shape of his face was closer to his mother – Orochimaru still resented being called that – or father. Still, the odds were in someone's favour. Much to his disappointment and Kakuzu and Itachi's delight, Orochimaru could not have been more wrong, for the child was definitely an Uchiha.

Hair was soft and short on his tiny, delicate head as he blinked dazedly while held in Orochimaru's cradling arms. What few strands he had on his scalp refused to stay together, appearing spiky while complexion was creamy instead of pale, contrasting greatly with the slender white finger trailing gently down his nose. Eyelashes were long, even as a baby, fanning out from incredibly dark eyes that put the midnight sky to shame.

"See those lines on his face?" Itachi's voice was full of pride as he smoothed his index finger over the aforementioned facial traits. "I got them from my father, just like this little guy got it from me."

The only thing discouraging Orochimaru from wiping the smirk off Itachi's face was the baby ensconced in his embrace. Although he couldn't see Itachi at his back peering over his shoulder, he didn't have to – the smugness was palpable, so much so that he rolled his eyes. The notion was mirrored by everyone who were forced to pay up for bartering and betting on the wrong team.

Some of the Akatsuki members did so with dignity, plopping the money in a sort of resigned yet classy fashion, their expressions only mildly strained. Unfortunately, such was not the case for the more hotheaded members – specifically Deidara and Hidan. Hidan hadn't gotten over the horror-induced trauma from labour while Deidara just loathed Itachi and, by extension, the child that bore a striking resemblance to his enemy.

Said artist made a point of it when he took one look at the baby, twisted his face into a scowl, then stormed off, leaving explosions in his wake in which Kakuzu growled at him to pay compensation for damage to property.

Even now, given a few days later for the heated feelings to simmer, Deidara was still pissed off. "So," he grounded tightly through clenched teeth, switching his gaze from one parent to another – noticeably, his electric blue eyes narrowed when he looked at Itachi, "what are you going to tell the kid when he grows up?"

When neither parent responded, Deidara hastened to explain. "He's gonna be something else, that's for sure." The scowl changed at what he was going to say next, mischief twinkling in his eyes. "But how are you going to explain, well...you know?"

"Ah." There was a pause, the silence in accordance with the slow-spreading smile at Orochimaru's lips. "I'm going to tell him the truth about what I said to his father."

"Which was what?"

"That I wanted Itachi's body."


End file.
